#France: I'm here to smashing this marriage

[ellavei]

France: I'm rarely hearing you calling me "Paco" or even "Francisco" in private, although you called Austria as "Rodrigo" or some lovely nicknames.

Spain: He is my dear husband and you are literally my sworn enemy.

France: So I need to care about your marriage but not my feeling, mon petit Antoine?

Spain: Someone please taking this man out of my house before my husband seeing this!

[stratocumulusperlucidus]

WIP REC

I love love love reading WIPs, the anticipation, the excitement of getting the notification for a new chapter, even sometimes the cliffhangers... So here are some of the lovely fics I'm currently reading!

Oh and if you read these, please consider taking a minute to leave a comment, let the author know you appreciate their work 💖

This Is More of a Comment Than a Question by @caterpills

Rating: Mature | Chapters: 3/10

Three weeks before Henry Fox's tour for his fourth, highly anticipated, awards-bait novel A Brief War in December begins, his publicist Janella breaks her foot on a bunny slope at Windham. Alex can't be mad at her, even though he kind of is. Saying it out loud would be like kicking her when she was down, and she already went down a literal mountain in the worst way possible. Now crammed in Rafael Luna's corner office, Janella is shooting Alex extremely apologetic looks while slumped on her crutches, wearing a bright orange cast. The conversation about who is going to be joining Henry Fox on his multi-city trek across the U.S. is also going downhill. Alex is feeling the same sort of free fall while standing still. Because out of all the publicists available in their tiny underfunded department, the only one left to escort their company's best-selling author is regrettably him. The problem is, well, Alex absolutely hates Henry Fox.

Or: Alex is the publicist for Mountchristen Publishers, and is stuck on a two-week tour with their best-selling, but frustrating, author Henry Fox.

Her Royal Highness by @tailsbeth-writes

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences | Chapters: 5/?

'Shaan, can you please put an appointment in my diary?' 'Certainly sir, what is it for?' 'A reminder to kill Alex for getting me into this mess.' Shaan tried to hold back a smirk as he stepped back, tapping away on his tablet. 'Personally I think the blue glitter really brings out your eyes, sir.' This terrible idea had started like most of Alex’s did, a seedling planted by the most chaotic of the chaos demons; Nora.

or How Prince Henry ended up as a guest judge on RuPaul's Drag Race UK.

the full spectrum of human emotion by @firenati0n

Rating: Mature | Chapters: 3/6

Alex grips his hand tighter. They’re going to need to have a long, hard conversation in the next five minutes, or else Alex is going to combust right here in Pez’s fancy office. Explode for all of Midtown Manhattan to see. Here lies what remains of Alex, for all the world to witness—taken out by a rogue marriage proposal from his evil boss-turned-fiancé.

Or: Working under editor Henry Fox-Mountchristen was only supposed to be Step One in Alex’s plan of achieving his big dreams—but when his boss winds up facing an even bigger problem, potential deportation, Alex finds he isn’t just a beleaguered assistant anymore. He’s the solution.

It’s fine. They only have to fool his friends, his family, the United States Government…and themselves.

Life Is Not A Movie (But We Can Have The Fairytale) by @lfg1986-2

Rating: Explicit | Chapters: 3/?

Three years after the smashing success of the first Red, White and Royal Blue film, Nicholas and Taylor are preparing to return to their roles as Henry and Alex to film the sequel. After a late night of catching up with each other and reestablishing their close bond just before rehearsals begin, they wake up to find themselves in a crazy twist of fate, where fiction blends with reality and the lines between fictional characters and the actors who portray them become irrevocably blurred.

Or

What happens when Taylor is transported into the movie universe and comes face to face with Prince Henry, while Nick wakes up to find Alex Claremont-Diaz in his living room in the place of his friend and costar? Both pairs must work together to figure out how to get themselves back where they belong, and along the way they discover some things about themselves and each other that has the potential to alter their relationships forever.

take me back to San Francisco by headabovethewater / @getmehighonmagic

Rating: Explicit | Chapters: 2/8

“You don’t look like you’re having a very good time,” a soft voice suddenly startles him from his thoughts. Henry’s entire body jerks and he spills some of his drink down the front of his shirt.

“Oh, bloody-” He leans over to put his drink on the table and starts wiping at his shirt. “No, I’m- It’s not that, it’s-” He glances fleetingly at the stranger and then down at his shirt again, before his brain finally registers that oh, glasses, dark curls, white smile, exposed chest. Henry’s head snaps back up and his lips part in astonishment. Handsome doesn’t even begin to cover it. Him.

“Hi,” the man says, then chuckles. He hands Henry a napkin and gestures towards one of the other chairs at the table. “Would you mind?”

or, Henry and Alex meet on vacation in San Francisco and an instant spark between them has both of them unable to let the other go. With only two weeks to spend together and the knowledge that it can't last beyond that, it's just a massive, insurmountable recipe for disaster.

Or is it?

Unattended / Unsent mails by amnesia_on_ice / @amnesiaa-on-ice

Rating: General Audiences | Chapters: 4/?

Alex is a Singer Songwriter, henry is his arch nemesis Actor but also secretively writer. There is a long running feud between Henry and Alex. Now they are meeting for the first time in person in a vanity after party and the stan twitter have lots to digest of the meeting.

The story of Unattended/ unsent mails.

the drag of your lips by rizcriz

Rating: Mature | Chapter 2/3

Alex isn’t sure how he got here.

Here being pressed into the couch, his roommate straddling his lap and warm against every point they’re touching, soft lips moving against his own in the most sensual, leisurely pattern that Alex’s fingers instinctively flex where they’re clinging into his lower back. He’s hard in his pants, straining towards Henry, but there’s no desperate hands grasping, no drive to take this any further.

Or, Alex just really wants to make out with someone. Henry helpfully volunteers.

Foxden Park by myheartalive / @myheartalivewrites

Rating: Explicit | Chapters: 4/9

“Yes, Alex, what a terrible destiny,” Nora says. “To be hosted for a week by all these charming rich people, who have bent over backwards to accommodate us, including sending their own carriage into town to fetch us. How very dare we drag you into their nefarious scheme.”

—

Invited to a week-long house party at the Duke of Windsor’s country residence, Alex Claremont-Diaz does not expect to find anything to enjoy about his time there. What he does find is Lord Henry, the duke’s younger brother—and a boatload of things to learn about himself.

Seven days in the country in a duke's house. What could possibly happen?

[snapheart1536]

This isn't a criticism of you, so please don't take it as such, but I get annoyed at how Anne fans feel obliged to temper their defence of her. I see it a lot here.

• Anne was no saint, but...

• Anne had her faults, but...

• Anne was only human...

I know Tumblerries are trying to be 'fair', attempting to avoid coming across as fanatics in the hope that makes their argument more reasonable, thus accepted, but it doesn't help.

You're dealing with lunatics. Nothing will ever convince them they're wrong. If they could be won over with logic and calm reiteration of facts they wouldn't be so hostile in the first place.

I haven't visited any KOA blogs here so I don't speak of them, but the hatred directed at Anne is always from Katherine and Mary stans, or those who've merely absorbed the opinions of vicious novelists spouting invective at Anne and Elizabeth.

Have you ever found a book where either was portrayed as the heroine, not the anti-hero or villain? I haven't.

The stans would NEVER admit their precious cherubs had the slightest human failings, not when KOA is a holy sainted martyr and Mary Did What She Thought Was Right and had A Bad Childhood, so why must we?

I know we should be 'better' than them, rise above their blind ignorance, but it's not working. The tiniest admittance of imperfection is a gateway of validation to them. They see that chink in the armour and widen it to justify their own bitterness.

Their argument is witless. Apparently Anne is responsible for every death, natural or otherwise, from 1526 to 1536, and Henry was but a poor terrified victim cowering in the malevolent shadow of her demonic presence. Then she demanded Mary die, and yet Mary didn't die, so she's not that competent in the killing quota.

The tale about Anne and George plotting Mary's execution sounds like a sarcastic fantasy scenario to me, as one might joke with a friend at how to poison an enemy to let off steam.

Besides, think how often people nowadays threaten to attack one another in casual conversation:

• I'll kill 'im!

• I could strangle 'im!

• I'll swing for you!

• You want shooting, you do!

Are these threats ever carried out? No, and nor was there ever any intention to do so. How can we tell if Anne's comments conveyed genuine intent or just empty anger?

Imagine this: a boy finds his car's been smashed by his sister.

"Look what you've done! I'll kill yer!"

Idle talk of course. But what happens when it's spun by an opponent?

His violent nature was evident at any early age.  As a teenager he threaten to kill his little sister simply for damaging his car.

Technically this is true, but a complete misrepresentation of reality.

It happens so often I don't even think some realise how uneven their reactions are, it's become so ingrained.

Anne supposedly demanded the head of Thomas More on a platter. This is an wicked, wicked thing.

Katherine of Aragon gloats over the body of James IV, wanting to ship it to France as a gory trophy. This is passed over without comment.

Anne supposedly ripped a locket from Jane Seymour's neck, as goes the story. How evil. No comment on the nastiness of Jane flaunting Henry's affection in front of his wife.

What if it'd been ten years earlier, with Anne waving it at Katherine in provocation?

Then it's different. Then it's cruel Anne taunting The True Wife. Ooh what a bitch.

And Katherine pulling it off is a sign of deep pain, thus a tragic glimpse of her noble suffering. She must be in agony to forget herself.

What I'm really doing is expressing frustration at how it's always Anne and Elizabeth's supporters on the defence, that fans of KOA, Mary, MQS, or those who know sod all about it feel infused with total moral righteousness, that they can deride 'our side' with complete impunity, such is their lofty elevation.

No one ever brands Katherine a whore for her suspect relationship with her confessor, or casts doubt on the validity of her marriage.

I've never seen absolute poisonous vitriol from Anne's camp towards Katherine. It just doesn't happen.

No one ever says anything against her.

No twisting of every situation to make her the villain.

No slights as to her chastity. At worst she slept with Arthur, her husband.

No novels with her as a cackling figure plotting the downfall of all who inconvenience her.

No callous, careless declaration that she 'asked for it'.

From a distance we're much better behaved, and their attitudes don't win me over, rather I'm alienated further.

I was perusing the comments on a Starkey documentary about Henry that I re-watched for the heck of it. These two were near the top.

The first might be a troll. Even if it isn’t, it’s not worth commenting on.

The second one bothers me, though. When I read Ives’ book, I was bracing myself for the unpleasant truth about Anne’s treatment of her stepdaughter Mary–only to find something much more mild than I was expecting.

According to Ives:

“Mary was kept away from her mother, isolated from her former friends and servants, and deliberately slighted and ignored by Henry. […] According to Chapuys, when Norfolk and Rochford rebuked Anne Shelton for being too lenient with Mary […] Anne’s aunt replied that even if Mary was the bastard daughter of a poor gentleman, she would deserve the respect and kindness because of the girl she was. Henry disagreed. He was determined to break his daughter’s will. It was Anne Boleyn, however, who got the blame. […] When Anne was dead Mary discovered the truth and the abasement which Henry exacted scarred her for life. 

“This is not to say that Anne was guiltless. Chapuys’ letters are full of [Anne] railing against Mary and of her lurid threats to curb ‘her proud Spanish blood’. But […] Anne was ranting, not thinking. There is an obvious ring of truth in his story that, assuming she would be regent if, as expected, Henry went to Calais to meet Francis I again, Anne swore to seize that chance to put Mary to death. When her brother pointed out, very simply, that this would anger the king, she retorted that she did not care, even if she was burned for doing it. So Anne’s language was violent and threatening, but this sprang not from malevolence but from self-defence. For Henry, Mary was a disobedient child. For Anne, she was much more. Her obstinacy was an insult, a denial of Anne’s own identity and integrity. If Katherine’s marriage was valid, then she, Anne, was a whore. […] [B]y refusing to recognize the priority of Elizabeth [Mary] was in effect asserting her own claim to the throne.”

I think we can all agree that language is not the same as action; Anne was a temperamental, hotheaded woman, not a saint–but not a murderess or even a particularly “wicked stepmother”. While word of Anne’s “lurid threats” probably got back to poor Mary at Hatfield, Anne never said these things to her stepdaughter’s face. Quite the opposite, in fact. Ives continues:

“Mary was certainly frustrating to deal with, and this is a further reason for Anne’s outbursts and her support for harsh treatment. On three distinct occasions Anne put out feelers for a better relationship. In February or March 1534, when on a visit to Elizabeth, she offered to welcome Mary if she would accept her as queen, and to reconcile her with her father. Mary’s response was that she knew no queen but her mother, but that if the king’s mistress would intercede with her father she would be grateful. Even after this offensiveness, Anne tried again, before leaving the house in high dudgeon, vowing to repress such impudence. […]

It is not surprising to find after this that Anne left Mary to reflect for eighteen months before trying again, but with Katherine on her deathbed and Anne certain that she was pregnant again, Lady Shelton was instructed to press once more the queen’s desire to be kind. This was followed after the old queen had died by a message that if Mary would obey the king she would find Anne a second mother, and be asked for minimal courtesies only. When Mary replied discouragingly that she would obey her father as far as honour and conscience allowed, Anne tried to frighten and warn her at the same time.”

Interestingly to me, Ives never brings up the boxed ears story that is commonly cited as the example of Anne’s “cruel and horrid” behavior.

Perhaps I’m being too kind to Anne, but I read all of this as her being mostly bark and not much bite. Her words probably still hurt Mary. There’s no excusing the cruel things she said about an insecure (and very stubborn and headstrong) teenage girl. However, Mary’s inability to acknowledge that her father was far more to blame than was Anne for her suffering certainly complicated matters. Putting the shoe on the other foot, Anne was in an even more precarious position than Mary. She was unpopular. For accepting the king’s suit on her own terms, Anne herself had already been subjected to nearly a decade of name-calling and harassment. She had no influential family outside of England to fall back on. She had yet to bear the king a son, and her own daughter was very young and extremely vulnerable, far less capable of defending herself than even Mary was. 

Anne was afraid, even paranoid–and rightfully so.

Moreover, the actions taken against Mary were taken by Henry. Anne may have been queen, and she did have influence, but Henry was both the king and Mary’s father. He was responsible for her upkeep and well-being as well as for any punishments handed down to her.

Ives makes this fairly clear, as I bolded in the passages above. Henry took actions for which Anne was then blamed. Only after Anne’s execution did it become clear that Henry was not acting against his “pearl of the world” merely at his “concubine’s” behest.

Henry made he decision that Mary was “to go to the Court and service of [Elizabeth], whom he named Princess”. Henry considered her disobedient. Henry wanted her “broken”–even after Anne’s death. Henry was the one who, ultimately, proved to be a cruel, unforgiving, and abusive parent.

And in the end, Anne was the repentant one: in the Tower, she begged Lord Kingston’s wife “kneel before Mary and beg her pardon for all the wrongs she had done against her.”

For further reading, “The Anne Boleyn Files” and this blog about Mary are both have good posts on this topic.

As for Anne being “cruel and horrid” to Katherine of Aragon, unless she was mouthing off to her she was still part of the queen’s household–and if so, I’ve never read about it–all I’ve read supporting that statement are, again, things Anne said about Katherine in the presence of others: mostly proud bluster or else expressions of frustration, impatience, and fear. Again, it was Henry who had power over Katherine. It was Henry who after twenty years of marriage actually banished her to live in poor conditions and separated her from her daughter.

That third bit–Anne not loving Henry and just using him to get at Wolsey–is a matter of interpretation. Ives actually swayed me on this and made me think that Anne probably did love Henry. (For instance, she saved all the love letters he sent her.) It’s well-established that Henry pursued her, however; she denied him the quick satisfaction of a sexual relationship. It is also well-established that she did so as a result of her own moral and religious beliefs. That it put her in a position to bring down a man she considered an enemy was just a perk.

In short: Anne Boleyn was not an angel. She had a sharp tongue and a temper. She was ambitious, and she did have an agenda of religious reform But she was not the Evil Queen/Stepmother a la Snow White, demanding her hapless, obedient, sweet stepdaughter’s heart in a box.